Being back on campus meant something very different. It meant I lived through treatment, it meant I was all well again. Then again, it also meant I’m back to school, a student all over again. And it feels weird.
We always wanted to do our MA but everything happened too fast and too early. And the three of us are left with two. Or maybe, when things start again we expect it to be as before, hence the emptiness?
I have many plans but I dare not plan in details. I fear the uncertainty that lies beneath, like the Hodgkin’s which swept me away from my course.
Before leaving the house today, I got a postcard from my fellow uni mate. We started writing when I fell sick and stopped when things got better. She is also doing her MA but a full-time research student one year ahead of me. It was very heartwarming to have received the card just before I left home, and seeing my prof who was smiling genuinely when he learnt about my remission.
And of course, the gossips Shaun and I always share.
Eventually all the familiarity eased the emptiness earlier en route to school
But again, cancer survivors live in constant fear that, it may once again starts when it actually has ended.
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