6#17

I'm over-due for the next chemo. The delay was for the interim PET scan done last Thursday. The wait for the results was horribly torturing. It's just like judgement day, heaven or hell.

So came Tuesday, after the blood test, I went to the Nuclear Med clinic. They took a while to retrieve my report. The moment I got it, I flipped through all the scan photos to look for the overall display of my entire body. Thanks, and this time round there isn't one.

All I could was to wait for my doctor to explain to me my results. While waiting, I read through the medical report, and this was what i got:

I got the sudden catatonic blank moment for a second, just like when I first got diagnosed and the report wrote " Hodgkin's Lymphoma." Back then, I thought it was just a condition, till I heard the word "malignant." So, "No evidence of metabolically active lymphoma" meant......?

Then, Francesca saw me asking if I saw the report. She then gave a very satisfied look, like I did well for my exams.

RELIEVED.

She then said that, chemo goes on, meaning 6 more times but we are not going to do radio therapy. I'm so relieved to hear this. Because, going through chemo is already putting me at higher risk for secondary cancer, and if I go through RT as well, the chances are just going to increase. But again, there are studies suggesting doing RT reduces relapse rate. Well, I know i shouldn't be thinking about this right now.

Leaving Francesca's office, I genuinely felt the happiness. I called my Mum, I smsed my prof, I whatsapped Lily and my friends. Oh man oh man.

Then, I realised, it is all the prayers, blessings, concerns from the people around me made this happened. The care my family has been giving me, the food my grandmother has been feeding me, books and letters my friends mailed me, Kai Ling Shaun Qin Jun listening to my horrendous whining, Yi Xin's marimo good luck moss, friends who are reading this blog, and all the SMS and whatsapp msg every single one sent me.

Still, being cautious at this stage is still necessary, we don't want recurrence half way through chemo. I have to stay vigilant, careful and strong to kick lymphoma's ass.

Next chemo is on Friday, and I will have to go back to chemo regime. Francesca was like, oh no you're going to vomit crazily again. Sigh.

But at least, I know I'm not dying. :)