Living in fear, for the rest of my life

And, today I fear relapse at the end of treatment.

While I have 2 more to go, I get news from people on the lymphoma forum having relapses despite a clean interim scan. Sigh. I did have a clean interim scan, and I'm really really nervous suddenly.

Cancer had happened on me, why can't others?

*****
Taken from Cyn Mommy and Charmaine's blog: 

Hello cancer, if you are reading this somewhere. Please know that I HATE YOU. Absolutely detest you. You are not only a coward, you don't even dare to fight fair! You think you are having the final laugh now that everything I hated, you had somehow made me do it willingly... To the extent of begging for that so-called better place Heavens to take my child away from me. Laugh as much as you can, because it won't be very long that you will disappear entirely on this earth! And in the very immediate short-run, someone will give us the power to NEVER FEAR you at all! Have you heard of your friend called 'FLU'? We have ripped all his prowes from it and now it fears Vitamin C!!! Just you wait and see, CANCER, you will PAY and live in fear of us humans somedays! CANCER, you will be go down in history as one of those solved mysteries! And then you will be forgotten forever!

去死吧，癌症。